Nobody Warns You How Much of Adulthood Is Just Trying to Make Your House Feel Nice

Nobody really warns you how much of adulthood is spent doing the same things over and over again.

You clean the kitchen.

Someone uses the kitchen.

You do the laundry.

Somehow there’s more laundry.

You vacuum, put everything away, straighten up the living room and feel pretty accomplished for about twelve minutes before you notice something else that needs done.

And somewhere along the way, you start caring an awful lot about how your house feels.

Not whether it looks perfect.

Whether it feels good to be there.

I Don't Need My House to Look Like Nobody Lives Here

There was a time when I thought having a nice home meant everything needed to be put away, the counters needed to be clear and the entire house needed to look somewhat presentable at all times.

I've since realized I was making it way harder than it needed to be.

Not in a bad way.

I've just realized there's a pretty big difference between a home that's actually lived in and one that's staged for pictures.

Real homes have stuff in them.

There's mail on the counter. A pair of shoes that somehow never makes it to the closet. A blanket thrown over the couch instead of folded perfectly across it.

And if you have pets, there's a very good chance you just vacuumed something up that will somehow be back five minutes later.

That's life.

I still love when everything is clean and put together. Who doesn't?

But I've stopped believing everything has to be perfect before I can enjoy my own house.

Sometimes I Just Want It to Smell Good

This is probably one of the reasons I became so obsessed with home fragrance in the first place.

There is something about walking into a room that smells good that changes the whole feeling of it.

I can have laundry waiting to be folded and dishes sitting in the sink, but if the windows are cracked and the house smells like something I love?

Somehow everything feels a little better.

And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that.

Think about how many times you've cleaned the house and then immediately wanted it to smell clean, too.

Or you've gotten home after a long day, changed into comfortable clothes and turned on your favorite scent before you even figured out what you were doing for dinner.

It's such a small thing.

But small things count when you're the one living there every day.

The "Right" Scent Is Different for Everybody

This is something I've learned pretty quickly from working with fragrance.

What smells incredibly cozy to one person can be completely wrong for somebody else.

Some people want their house to smell like cinnamon rolls just came out of the oven.

Someone else wants fresh laundry.

Someone wants apples, vanilla and warm spices.

Someone else wants woods, amber and something a little darker.

And then there are the people who want everything to smell like the cleanest house on earth even though there may currently be three baskets of laundry sitting in the hallway.

No judgment. I understand.

That's why I've never really believed there's one perfect "home scent."

The perfect scent is whatever makes you walk into your house and think, Yep. This is what I wanted.

I Think We're Really Trying to Create a Feeling

The older I get, the more I realize that most of the little things we do around our homes aren't really about the things themselves.

The blanket isn't just a blanket.

The coffee isn't just coffee.

Opening the windows on a cool morning isn't just about getting fresh air.

And making the house smell good isn't really just about fragrance.

We're creating little moments where home feels like the place we actually want to be.

Maybe that's why certain scents become such a big part of our routines without us even realizing it.

There's the scent you always reach for when you're cleaning.

The one you want when it's raining.

The one that comes out every fall.

The one that reminds you of somebody.

And the one you bought on a whim that somehow became the smell of your house.

Those things stick with us.

Your House Doesn't Have to Be Finished to Enjoy It

This might be the biggest lesson adulthood has taught me.

There is always going to be something else.

Something that needs cleaned.

Something you want to replace.

A room you want to repaint.

A project you've been saying you'll get to for six months.

Something you'd change if you had more time, more money or both.

If we wait until everything is exactly how we want it before we enjoy our homes, we're going to be waiting forever.

So light the lamp.

Grab the blanket.

Make the coffee.

Open the windows if Pennsylvania weather decides to cooperate.

Put something you love in the wax warmer.

And ignore the laundry for a little while.

It'll still be there later.

Unfortunately.